If you have ever mimicked a yell at Arlington Cemetery in a photo or made an AIDS joke on Twitter en route to Africa that went viral, you know very well that fake Internet outrage (aka Internet vigilante justice) is a dangerous thing. People’s lives are ruined for insignificant, meaningless things thanks to those on the Internet who want to express their moral superiority.
However, sometimes Internet outrage is justified and yields positive results. The following case falls into the latter category.
Several years ago, a five-year-old boy was murdered in Toronto. Now, a sympathetic Toronto man wants to erect a memorial statue of the boy. The bronze statue has the Superman logo on the boy’s chest, his favorite superhero. This is a wonderful, heartfelt, tear-jerking gesture. Who could possibly be against this?
Long story short, DC Entertainment refused to let the man use the Superman “S” for the statue. Their reason:
…for a variety of legal reasons, we are not able to accede to the request, nor many other incredibly worthy projects that come to our attention.
You know what’s funny? Recently, the Supreme Court ruled in the Hobby Lobby verdict that corporations are pretty much people. If that is the case, then corporations need to start acting like people. That means feeling empathy and acting like you have a soul, even though you technically do not. Why shouldn’t corporations have human rights? BECAUSE THEY ACT LIKE ROBOTIC CUNTS WITH NO SOUL OR ABILITY TO FEEL EMOTION! That’s a start.
Corporations run the world, and lawyers control corporations. The line of thinking here is if DC Entertainment grants this guy’s request, then they have to grant EVERYONE’S request for free use of their trademarked logos.
You can NOT grant every request just because you did so for a statue of a dead five-year-old. DC Entertainment can use this thing called…wait for it…discretion. The word “discretion” is banned from legal dictionaries. In the world of the law, it’s all or nothing. There are no such things as circumstances or exceptions.
Unless the masses call you out on your bullshit… Within a few days of the story getting out, Internet outrage reverberated across the land, and guess what happened? DC Entertainment changed their verdict and allowed the statue to prominently display the Superman “S.”
This means two things. First, whenever a corporation tells you that they cannot do something, they are full of shit. They have been advised by their lawyers not to do something, but at the end of the day, they can do whatever the fuck they want with no slippery slope consequences. Imagine a world where all humans had to consult a corporate lawyer before doing a humane act. Since corporations are people, why can’t people act like corporations? I’m going to file myself as a C Corporation for the tax breaks.
Second, the masses rule. Sure, corporations rule Washington, therefore the laws of the land, but vast majority opinion can turn an asshole into a saint at the click of a mouse. This is because of the Internet. Before the Internet, humans and companies alike got away with a lot of shit. There was no way to find out about it, and there was no way to get feedback. Today, bad news goes viral and everybody’s voices and opinions can be heard.
Internet: The Great Democratizer
Sometimes Internet justice is terribly misguided. This is because we are brand new to the masses having an open platform. We haven’t quite been able to fully grasp the concept yet. Until we do, innocent people will get shot in the crossfire. However, often times we get it right. When we do assholes that have been getting away with bullshit for centuries are finally getting the public shaming they deserve. Moral of this story: you can no longer be a piece of shit and get away with it. Thanks, Internet!