Opening Up the Culture Club

  Why white people are so angry about everything black. For those of you who listen to the podcast, you’ve probably heard us talk about Crazy Facebook Republican Militia Guy before. This person is exactly who you’d think he would be: white, ex-military, angry, hates Obama more than life itself, loves guns more than he…

NYPD Blues

“NYPD Blue,” “Law & Order,” “CSI: NY.” Man, NYPD cops have to cry when they see those shows. You know, because police officers on those shows are not scrutinized for arresting criminals. The NYPD is under the magnifying glass yet again. About a week ago, I wrote a piece called COPS: Not As Seen On…

Rock the Vote: Mo. “Issues” Primary Edition

Now that you know the candidates and who to vote for, it is time to look at the issues on the ballot. Unlike a politician “representing” you in Congress, these state and local measures can affect you directly and YOU PERSONALLY can dictate the fate. Politicians will fuck you over, no matter who you vote…

Rock the Vote: KC GOP Primary Edition

Now that we got the Democrats out of the way, it is time to move on to the Republicans. If you are not a fan of Republicans, you can still use this to your advantage. Find a candidate you think is a complete piece of shit and vote for someone else! Sometimes there are elections…

Rock the Vote: KC Democrat Primary Edition

Voting is a pain in the ass, You have to go inside some elementary school and feel like a goddamn pedophile and vote for people you have never heard of. Good news! I’ve done the research for you! Since a huge population of my readers and listeners are Kansas City residents (grassroots campaigning works!), this…

Sharknado, Snakes and Stupidity

Sharknado capitalizes on the public’s want to not be taken seriously.   We all want to be stupid. This isn’t new. Ignorance is bliss is why normal people like to identify with Forrest Gump and Raymond Babbitt. To throw away any reminder of adulthood and the pain we identify with growing up and replace it with a…

The Costs of a Dying Pet

When I was in high school, I found my childhood dog, Cody, lying at the bottom of the basement stairs unable to move. He wasn’t injured, but for some reason he could not get up the stairs. I knew something was wrong and called a friend to drive me and Cody to the vet. The…

8 Million Reasons Why BuzzFeed Isn’t News

There are very few careers available where simply getting a formal education specific to the industry will land you a job. Unless the job requires a specific postgraduate degree to be legally qualified (doctor, lawyer, etc.), chances are your dream job will be snatched up by someone who majored in Renaissance Literature or something equally…

COPS: Not As Seen On TV

Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do when they chokehold you? That seems to be the theme for the NYPD. For whatever reason, they cannot seem to stop beating the ever living shit out of people. The real question: Does the NYPD have a serious issue with power of abuse OR are…

Integrity in Journalism

Watergate. Iran-Contra. Monica Lewinsky’s cum-stained dress. The above are good examples of what journalism and news used to be. No listicles. No aggregation. Just trained and educated journalists reporting the facts (and only the facts) so that the individual reader can form their own opinion. I may be sourcing news from others, but I intend…

Diary of an Auschwitz Tweet Survivor

Think about the stupid shit you did in high school. Now imagine all of those shenanigans being broadcasted to the world, which you will be held responsible for your entire life, despite a thing called maturing and change. Welcome to the digital age! I am fortunate enough to have barely missed the social media age…

Poor Door: Segregation Is Back!

One fascinating aspect about human nature is our yearning to hate. Over the centuries, most of us have gotten over our discontent with women, blacks, Jews, witches, gypsies, Daniel from middle school and whoever else has been oppressed. As soon as we get over our hate from one group, we move to another. Most recently, we…

Seattle Ink: Starbucks’ Anti-Tattoo Policy

  Remember that stupid tribal and/or butterfly tattoo you ran out to get when you turned 18? It’s going to cost you more than $150, a little pain and a lot of regret. It can also cost you your shitty job. A Starbucks employee has 30 days to remove a tattoo or lose her job.…

Bowl of Dicks

If you listen to Soundtrack of the Week, then you know how much I hate people. It even says so on my Twitter bio. Compiling a list of people who can “eat a bowl of dicks” would be time consuming. In fact, it will be easier to list off the people who can eat a…

Read What They Mean

 When saying what you mean is superseded by what people think you mean. “We have been the cowards, lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away. That’s cowardly. Staying in the airplane when it hits the building, say what you want about it, it’s not cowardly.” These are the words that many thought would have ended Bill Maher’s…

HEALTH REPORT: Gays and Straights Compared

  According to the Westboro Baptist Church and every other asshole (homophobe), gays are everywhere. According to the latest Center for Disease Control study, they are hiding and not in the closet. A National Health Statistics Report reveals that 96.6% of Americans identify as straight, 1.6% gay or lesbian, 0.1% bisexual and the remaining 1.1%…

QT Proves High Wages Are Feasible And Better For Business

“It’s a big country. The costs of living, especially housing, vary widely in America from state to state and city to city.” “Private industry and the free market are already taking care of it.” “It would eliminate jobs.” “It would reduce the incentive for low-wage workers to get an education and move up to a…

Get Bad Grades In School? Blame Your Parents…And God!

Find the de Broglie wavelength associated with an alpha particle emitted with a kinetic energy of 1 MeV by the nucleus of an atom of radon. Can’t do it? Blame your idiot parents and God. A recent study reveals that half of your intelligence is genetic. More specifically, about half of a child’s ability to…

15 Will Get You 20…Even at 17

  This next story has all types of WTF in it. Police want to take a dick pic of a 17-year-old to prove a case. More specifically, an erect dick pic. Even more specifically, the police want to take him to a hospital, inject him with whatever the fuck porn stars use and snap pictures…

The Secret to Success Revealed!

Are you a manipulative, antisocial narcissist? Congratulations! You are going to excel in your career! A recent study reveals that people who exhibit manipulative, narcissistic and/or antisocial behavior are more likely to climb the corporate ladder. In other words, nice guys finish last and assholes will be your boss. Pretty accurate, right? The article goes…

Censorship: BBC To Stop Featuring Idiots

Fox News has the slogan “Fair & Balanced.” Even though that is full of shit, that is the mantra for journalists everywhere. But should everyone’s voice get fair and balanced treatment?   No, and BBC News agrees.   Recently, the BBC announced that they will reduce air time for idiots, i.e. stop giving people with…

The Boy Who Cried “Racist”

I hope everyone had a great Independence Day full of beer, food, fireworks and racism. If you didn’t, may I suggest attending the Fourth of July parade in Norfolk, Neb., next year? In addition to not much else, they have a great parade that features floats like the one above. Yes, that float portrays Obama’s…

The Feminist Claim To Censorship

Music censorship used to be a tool of old conservatism, but is now a popular weapon with modern feminism. I’m trying, man. I’m really trying not to get infuriated to the point of exhaustion every time I see another article about trigger warnings, censorship or any other act of “feminism” that aims to snuff out…

SOTW Roundup: 5/4/2014 – 5/10/2014

Gawker Media is looking for bloggers, and I applied. Why? First of all, what do you think this is? I’ve been blogging and podcasting about current events and trends for over four years now. I might as well get paid for it and have millions of people call me a stupid asshole for stating the…

Why The Winter Games Suck

The Winter Olympics are awful. It’s the arena football – no – the WNBA – NO – the Chicago Cubs of the Olympics. Everyone can get behind the Summer Games. You have swimming, running, wrestling and other activities that are required if faced with a life or death altercation with a bear. We know these…

No More Hell To Pay: Stryper Hits Their Stride

I wasn’t going to write about this or even tweet about it, because  I know this subject matter isn’t for anyone other than the smallest niche. Forget music fans, hard rock fans, metal fans or even 1980s hair metal fans. The only people that care about Stryper are Stryper fans. The Christian-metal (yes, you read…

Bullying In Sports and Life In The 21st Century

I know Ty has already written about the subject, but hey, you can never have enough HOT SPROTS TAKES, am I right? But before I get to football, bullying and this entire Miami Dolphins fiasco, let me talk for a bit about pornography. Earlier this year, the site kink.com came under fire from former, um,…

Gen Y’s Pussification…Is No Longer…Incognito. (YEEEEAAAAHHHHH!)

It’s official: we have turned into GIGANTIC pussies! In the same week I wrote an article about Internet vigilante justice—which explains how overly sensitive, easily offended whiners are ruining life—the following news came out: an NFL player has been suspended indefinitely for…BULLYING. Here are the highlights: Miami Dolphins guard Richie Incognito was harassing fellow teammate…

Vigilante Justice Gone Out Of Control

On Soundtrack of the Week, you may have heard me refer to the Internet as “The Great Democratizer” about a couple thousand times over the past four years. Meaning, the global community democratically (and somewhat organically) decides when something morally or socially unacceptable occurs. When we come upon this common ground, we expose and shame…

Give Halloween Back to the Children

Ty Fisher Halloween is just around the corner! This is the holiday wear kids get to dress up in costumes, get a boat load of candy, and…well…be a kid! NOPE! Once again, the older generations are sucking the life out of childhood. Schools Now Have Strict Costume Rules. In addition to making trick-or-treating damn near…

Great News for All Us Poors!

Ty Fisher With the government shutdown, the residual effects of the Great Recession still looming and wages still stagnant for the past 20 years, there is a good chance you are broke and in major debt. Turn that frown upside down, because I have some great news! LOL, J/K! Rent Is Up 3% From Last…

The U.S. Government is Shutdown. Meanwhile, in Switzerland…

Currently, the United States federal government is shutdown because of a “financial dispute” while the rest of the country is still recovering from the Great Recession of 2008 (yeah, it’s still not over, despite what you may have been told). Meanwhile in Switzerland: Yup! Swiss citizens want a guaranteed income of $2,800/mo as a response…

Malcolm Gladwell, Sports and The Value Of Ideas

I sometimes wonder why I’m such a big sports fan. I was into it as a kid, but by the time I reached middle school, I abandoned sports for music, drugs and girls. I was only interested in things that “mattered”, and dudes throwing around balls and hitting each other didn’t seem to have as…

Great Children Costume Ideas!

October is here, and you know what that means: Halloween! The most difficult part about this time of year is choosing the right costume. It has to be original, but not lame. If your costume is going to be topical, you can’t do something that surely everyone else will do (e.g. your Heisenberg costume will…

Ty’s Ten Worst Bands In The History Of Rock Music

Many of you were rather upset—dare I say “butthurt”—over Jay’s “Worst Bands in the History of Rock Music” list. People took to social media with pitchforks and torches, ready to burn Jay at the stake. In addition to making me laugh, this also inspired me to create my own list. Some of you demanded justice!…

The Ten Worst Bands In The History Of Rock Music

I think about music constantly. Not just what types of music I like or dislike, but which bands are good and bad for the music industry. One day, I’ll focus on the good, spreading cheer and introducing people to some of the greatest musicians the world has ever known. This is not one of those…

Life Explained…Through Baseball and Poker

I am about to explain life to you, so I suggest you get comfortable and prepare to have your mind blown. I would also suggest smoking a bowl, but that’s up to you. Life is a tricky little thing and seemingly very complex. However, it’s not at all complex when you break it down, and…

SOTW Roundup: 11/25/12 – 12/1/12

The Kansas City Chiefs made headlines again this year, and like all the other headlines this season, it wasn’t pretty. I’m of course talking about the Javon Belcher murder/suicide. Since this made national headlines, I’m assuming you know the story. If not, here you go. Per standard protocol, Twitter blew up, and in true nature…

Saving Conservatism

President Obama winning a second term is the biggest, most important win in decades for a group that desperately needed it. The type of group that had been downtrodden, beaten to a pulp by their leaders and needed that one sign to say it was time for hope and change. The type of people who…

Defending Tim Burton

Today, Alex Pappademas wrote a piece for Grantland outlining Tim Burton’s career, and how the director has slowly morphed into a also-ran cover-artist. I’ve seen this type of thought process before, so I guess I shouldn’t be shocked that this storyline is being regurgitated after every new Burton project that every hates is coming out. The same…