Remember that stupid tribal and/or butterfly tattoo you ran out to get when you turned 18? It’s going to cost you more than $150, a little pain and a lot of regret. It can also cost you your shitty job.

A Starbucks employee has 30 days to remove a tattoo or lose her job. To start, notice how I didn’t call her a barista. You work at a corporate coffee chain. You’re not exactly creating original caffeine beverages from your deep knowledge of coffee and other ingredients. This is no different than Subway employees calling themselves “sandwich artists.” No. You put meat, cheese and veggies on bread according to the Subway manual.

I digress.

Back on point. So, what is this tattoo that this woman can get fired over? A big-tittied woman riding a motorcycle through flaming skulls? A sleeve full of gang signs? Teardrops? “Love” and “hate” on the knuckles?

Nope. It is a tiny heart over the left thumb (see image on right).

Despite being an employee for over five years and covering it up with makeup, her shitty manager (Lumbergh?) is giving her 30 days to remove it or leave. Company policy does not allow tattoos of any type…because…you know…it doesn’t fit their image of hiring failed artists/writers who serve customers in the process of becoming failed artists/writers/future Starbucks employees.

It’s 2014. Are we still not cool with tattoos despite the fact that 20% of voters, including 36% of those 18-25 and 40% of those 26-40, have a tattoo? This means that 36% of those likely to apply to Starbucks are automatically disqualified, and that is just based off of age. When you throw in the type of 18-25-year-old that applies, that number is probably well over 50%. And what about the white dude with dreads and 0-gauge piercings that works at the Starbucks near where I live? Is that allowed or is it that his manager is not a piece of shit?

In cases like this, it usually comes down to an isolated incident involving a power hungry manager. Corporate usually takes over and says everything is fine. Not this time. When reached for comment, Starbucks told Fox News, “This is part of our dress code policy and is discussed with our candidates during the interview process.” Yup, they doubled down.

I’m boycotting Starbucks.

Under the assumption that this woman loses her job, I will not get coffee there. Their archaic, pointless dress code policy and their inability to use a thing called discretion does not jive with my personal beliefs and dress code. I have tattoos and I feel as if they are discriminating against those with tattoos. When you cannot differentiate a tiny heart tattoo on the thumb from a swastika on your forehead, you need to reevaluate your thought process.

I boycotted Papa John’s a few years ago when their cunt CEO refused to give his employees health care. Papa John’s was my favorite delivery pizza. However, I had no problems replacing a pizza delivery service. They’re everywhere. In fact, I found Sarpino’s, which is better in many ways (including 4 a.m. delivery for my drunk ass!).

As for Starbucks? I live in Hipsterville, Kansas City, Mo. Finding a local coffee shop will not be an issue. Even though I live on the same block as a Starbucks, I would rather drive half a mile to a company that embraces modern living than walk to a company that demonizes it.