October is here, and you know what that means: Halloween! The most difficult part about this time of year is choosing the right costume. It has to be original, but not lame. If your costume is going to be topical, you can’t do something that surely everyone else will do (e.g. your Heisenberg costume will be one of many at the costume party). And if you’re a female, all you have to do is fill in the blank: Sexy _____. Children have it easy: fireman, princess, witch, sexy witch. Yeah, that last one wasn’t a typo. Walmart is offering naughty costumes for your toddler.

You know, in case parenting isn’t your thing. Hopefully, this is just a ploy by Child Protective Services, and everyone who buys these costumes gets their children taken away. If that is the case, I stand by this 100%.