It’s official: we have turned into GIGANTIC pussies! In the same week I wrote an article about Internet vigilante justice—which explains how overly sensitive, easily offended whiners are ruining life—the following news came out: an NFL player has been suspended indefinitely for…BULLYING. Here are the highlights:

1. Miami Dolphins guard Richie Incognito was harassing fellow teammate Jonathan Martin, with such voicemails as the following (WARNING: hilarity will ensue):
   

   Hey, wassup, you half nigger piece of shit. I saw you on Twitter, you been training 10 weeks. [I want to] shit in your fucking mouth. [I’m going to] slap your fucking mouth. [I’m going to] slap your real mother across the face [laughter]. Fuck you, you’re still a rookie. I’ll kill you.

2. Martin left the team and the media jumped on the “bullying” accusations as the reason why (which it was).
3. Incognito was suspended indefinitely.
4. Martin’s DAD said his son is doing fine in a public statement.
5. Everyone is getting up in arms about bullying in the NFL.

It should be noted that Incognito is infamous for being a world class, Grade A piece of shit asshole. The above voicemail was not an isolated incident. With that said, THIS IS NOT BULLYING! Why? BECAUSE THESE ARE GROWN MEN WHO PLAY IN THE NFL!!! If anything, this is a case of harassment.

Kids are bullied. Adults are harassed.

As someone who’s middle school years were a living hell because of extreme bullying (worst television show ever), I am sensitive to the issue of bullying. It is a problem that should be looked into…amongst children! Children are still in their crucial psychological development stages. Therefore, being called a “half nigger piece of shit” can be damaging. Adults should have developed defensive and coping mechanisms to not be emotionally crushed by such words. If they are, then it’s a case of harassment, not bullying.

But Martin isn’t just your average adult. He’s a goddamn NFL tackle. The NFL is not your typical office cubicle setting like at your shitty job. It’s a place where men with abnormally high testosterone levels get paid millions of dollars to beat the ever living shit out of each other. Most of these guys were never bullied in school, because they were the bullies. At the very least, they were never targets of bullies considering their talents, size and strength. I was the weak kid. I was verbally and physically attacked daily. As an adult, if someone were to talk shit to me now, I would shrug and move on with my life. However, Martin is 24-years-old. Meaning, he’s well into the generation known for participation trophies, ensuring all kids get equal playing time, and no scores taken so as to not humiliate the opposing team’s players. So when an NFL tackle quits a team because of “bullying” which is soon followed by his dad telling the press he is doing just fine like a goddamn schoolboy who has been crying in his goddamn room all week with his teddy bear, I am led to one conclusion: we have turned into GIGANTIC pussies.

Congratulations, Millennials! Even your NFL players are a bunch of coddled vaginas!

~ Ty Fisher

UPDATE: Since the writing of this article, news has come out that the Miami coaches instructed Incognito to “toughen up” Martin. Why? Because he was skipping voluntary practices. This backs up my claim that Martin is just emotionally weaker than the average person, and perhaps less physically motivated/tough than most NFL players. My point: we cannot continue to shape policies and standards to adhere to the weakest links. In this case, Martin is the weak link that was eliminated for being just that. The strongest survive, my friends. Stop fucking with Darwinism!