(fill in the blank) Until Proven (fill in the blank)

Which word goes first: “innocent” or “guilty?” According to the court of law, “innocent until proven guilty” is the law of the land. According to the court of public opinion (i.e. idiots), the opposite yields true. And no one knows that better than Cards Against Humanity creator Max Temkin. A few months ago, news came…

The Truth Behind Bisexuality

Being a bisexual man is a strange experience. On the one hand we’re like day walkers, able to blend in with (or, to put it blunt, metaphorically fuck) gay/bi men or straight/bi girls. And that aspect is awesome. In the same breath, as of now there isn’t even consensus bisexual dudes exist. A quick search…

A Thirst to Save the World

Editor’s note: This is the first of hopefully many articles written by contributing writer “dudebrabroman.” You can follow him on Twitter at @DBBMMatt Editor’s note to editor’s note: This is actually his second piece, but decided to post this second. Deal with it. Fuck Ebola, let’s talk about water. You almost certainly drank it today…

The Police State

  Nobody hates cause-heads more than I do. Feminists, anarchists, hippies, Black Panthers, liberals, conservatives, pacifists, capitalists, communists. Any time someone defines themselves through a certain cause, I immediately loathe them. So why did I find myself among protesters last night? Because the situation in Ferguson, Missouri is not a cause, not an ideal and…

DWAI: Sober DUIs

FUN FACT: you can be charged for a crime that technically isn’t a crime, but technically is. What does that even mean? Here’s an example that involves a sober person getting a DWI: Earlier this week, two double-decker buses crashed into each other in New York City*. One bus struck another that was parked. Fourteen…

NYPD Blues

“NYPD Blue,” “Law & Order,” “CSI: NY.” Man, NYPD cops have to cry when they see those shows. You know, because police officers on those shows are not scrutinized for arresting criminals. The NYPD is under the magnifying glass yet again. About a week ago, I wrote a piece called COPS: Not As Seen On…

Rock the Vote: Mo. “Issues” Primary Edition

Now that you know the candidates and who to vote for, it is time to look at the issues on the ballot. Unlike a politician “representing” you in Congress, these state and local measures can affect you directly and YOU PERSONALLY can dictate the fate. Politicians will fuck you over, no matter who you vote…

Rock the Vote: KC GOP Primary Edition

Now that we got the Democrats out of the way, it is time to move on to the Republicans. If you are not a fan of Republicans, you can still use this to your advantage. Find a candidate you think is a complete piece of shit and vote for someone else! Sometimes there are elections…

Rock the Vote: KC Democrat Primary Edition

Voting is a pain in the ass, You have to go inside some elementary school and feel like a goddamn pedophile and vote for people you have never heard of. Good news! I’ve done the research for you! Since a huge population of my readers and listeners are Kansas City residents (grassroots campaigning works!), this…

Sharknado, Snakes and Stupidity

Sharknado capitalizes on the public’s want to not be taken seriously.   We all want to be stupid. This isn’t new. Ignorance is bliss is why normal people like to identify with Forrest Gump and Raymond Babbitt. To throw away any reminder of adulthood and the pain we identify with growing up and replace it with a…

The Costs of a Dying Pet

When I was in high school, I found my childhood dog, Cody, lying at the bottom of the basement stairs unable to move. He wasn’t injured, but for some reason he could not get up the stairs. I knew something was wrong and called a friend to drive me and Cody to the vet. The…

8 Million Reasons Why BuzzFeed Isn’t News

There are very few careers available where simply getting a formal education specific to the industry will land you a job. Unless the job requires a specific postgraduate degree to be legally qualified (doctor, lawyer, etc.), chances are your dream job will be snatched up by someone who majored in Renaissance Literature or something equally…

COPS: Not As Seen On TV

Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do when they chokehold you? That seems to be the theme for the NYPD. For whatever reason, they cannot seem to stop beating the ever living shit out of people. The real question: Does the NYPD have a serious issue with power of abuse OR are…

Integrity in Journalism

Watergate. Iran-Contra. Monica Lewinsky’s cum-stained dress. The above are good examples of what journalism and news used to be. No listicles. No aggregation. Just trained and educated journalists reporting the facts (and only the facts) so that the individual reader can form their own opinion. I may be sourcing news from others, but I intend…

Diary of an Auschwitz Tweet Survivor

Think about the stupid shit you did in high school. Now imagine all of those shenanigans being broadcasted to the world, which you will be held responsible for your entire life, despite a thing called maturing and change. Welcome to the digital age! I am fortunate enough to have barely missed the social media age…

Poor Door: Segregation Is Back!

One fascinating aspect about human nature is our yearning to hate. Over the centuries, most of us have gotten over our discontent with women, blacks, Jews, witches, gypsies, Daniel from middle school and whoever else has been oppressed. As soon as we get over our hate from one group, we move to another. Most recently, we…

Seattle Ink: Starbucks’ Anti-Tattoo Policy

  Remember that stupid tribal and/or butterfly tattoo you ran out to get when you turned 18? It’s going to cost you more than $150, a little pain and a lot of regret. It can also cost you your shitty job. A Starbucks employee has 30 days to remove a tattoo or lose her job.…

311 Drummer Creates Visual Art With Rhythm

Those of you who are familiar with me or have listened to the podcast probably know that I am a huge 311 fan. With a high energy live show that can convert any casual listener, 311 have reached to what I refer to as the perfect level of success. I have always applauded their rhythm…

Bowl of Dicks

If you listen to Soundtrack of the Week, then you know how much I hate people. It even says so on my Twitter bio. Compiling a list of people who can “eat a bowl of dicks” would be time consuming. In fact, it will be easier to list off the people who can eat a…

Read What They Mean

 When saying what you mean is superseded by what people think you mean. “We have been the cowards, lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away. That’s cowardly. Staying in the airplane when it hits the building, say what you want about it, it’s not cowardly.” These are the words that many thought would have ended Bill Maher’s…

HEALTH REPORT: Gays and Straights Compared

  According to the Westboro Baptist Church and every other asshole (homophobe), gays are everywhere. According to the latest Center for Disease Control study, they are hiding and not in the closet. A National Health Statistics Report reveals that 96.6% of Americans identify as straight, 1.6% gay or lesbian, 0.1% bisexual and the remaining 1.1%…

QT Proves High Wages Are Feasible And Better For Business

“It’s a big country. The costs of living, especially housing, vary widely in America from state to state and city to city.” “Private industry and the free market are already taking care of it.” “It would eliminate jobs.” “It would reduce the incentive for low-wage workers to get an education and move up to a…

Get Bad Grades In School? Blame Your Parents…And God!

Find the de Broglie wavelength associated with an alpha particle emitted with a kinetic energy of 1 MeV by the nucleus of an atom of radon. Can’t do it? Blame your idiot parents and God. A recent study reveals that half of your intelligence is genetic. More specifically, about half of a child’s ability to…

15 Will Get You 20…Even at 17

  This next story has all types of WTF in it. Police want to take a dick pic of a 17-year-old to prove a case. More specifically, an erect dick pic. Even more specifically, the police want to take him to a hospital, inject him with whatever the fuck porn stars use and snap pictures…

The Secret to Success Revealed!

Are you a manipulative, antisocial narcissist? Congratulations! You are going to excel in your career! A recent study reveals that people who exhibit manipulative, narcissistic and/or antisocial behavior are more likely to climb the corporate ladder. In other words, nice guys finish last and assholes will be your boss. Pretty accurate, right? The article goes…

The Leftovers

Why Pink Floyd’s “new” album doesn’t matter. In 1994, Pink Floyd released their last album, The Division Bell. It was their only album to reach #1 on every major market on the globe. In terms of rock music, this would seem like a success, that a band dominated the charts nearly thirty years after their…

Censorship: BBC To Stop Featuring Idiots

Fox News has the slogan “Fair & Balanced.” Even though that is full of shit, that is the mantra for journalists everywhere. But should everyone’s voice get fair and balanced treatment?   No, and BBC News agrees.   Recently, the BBC announced that they will reduce air time for idiots, i.e. stop giving people with…

The Boy Who Cried “Racist”

I hope everyone had a great Independence Day full of beer, food, fireworks and racism. If you didn’t, may I suggest attending the Fourth of July parade in Norfolk, Neb., next year? In addition to not much else, they have a great parade that features floats like the one above. Yes, that float portrays Obama’s…

SOTW Roundup: 6/22/2014 – 6/28/2014

  Throughout the many Roundups I have written, two common themes have been gentrification and stagnant wages vs increased cost of living. I have often claimed that Kansas City, like most major cities, is being gentrified. Welp, it’s happening (see above pic). I moved to midtown KC because I was broke. Living near downtown wasn’t…

Pop Goes The Devil

Ghost’s Infestissumam is the perfect blend of pop/rock influences.  I remember the summer going into eighth grade, where I was already a diehard Metallica, Megadeth and Aerosmith fan. It was the summer of 1999 and friends of mine were starting to get internet access in their homes. One Friday night, a bunch of us went over…

SOTW Roundup: 6/15/2014 – 6/21/2014

This weekend, I will be attending a truck show in Nebraska. If you do not already know, I’m a news clerk/staff writer for a trucker magazine. It’s not what most people had in mind when going to journalism school, but it beats the hell out of monitoring earthquakes, typhoons, protests and wildfires for Bank of…

Being A Royals Fan

How the Royals’ winning streak puts the World Cup pseudo-fandom into perspective. Here the Kansas City Royals stand at first place. The Royals. The Losers. The Jokers. The team that was my team since birth. Here they come. Is this the year? Is this really it? Will the pain, the heartbreak, the sourness, the hate…

SOTW Roundup: 6/8/2014 – 6/14/2014

  Strippers everywhere will be drowning in a bottle of cupcake vodka this weekend. Why? Father’s Day is this Sunday! Statistically, a predominantly white/Asian holiday*, Father’s Day allows us the chance to not blame our failures on the one guy who was partly responsible for raising us to succeed. CEOs, Winter Olympic athletes, doctors and…

The Feminist Claim To Censorship

Music censorship used to be a tool of old conservatism, but is now a popular weapon with modern feminism. I’m trying, man. I’m really trying not to get infuriated to the point of exhaustion every time I see another article about trigger warnings, censorship or any other act of “feminism” that aims to snuff out…

SOTW Roundup: 6/1/2014 – 6/7/2014

  In the near future, this roundup may change a little bit. In an effort to attract more listeners, readers and followers, the SOTW gang will be exploring different marketing strategies. By “marketing strategies” I mean “desperate attempts to sucker in listeners.” Coming up on Year 5, it’s high time we go the full nine…

SOTW Roundup: 5/25/2014 – 5/31/2014

  This weekend, I will be going Rockfest. For those of you not from Kansas City or otherwise unaware, Rockfest is the largest one-day music festival in North America, according to the radio station that puts it out. It is most certainly the largest collection of white trash depravity in KC. You know you are…

SOTW Roundup: 5/18/2014 – 5/24/2014

Memorial Day is Monday, which means those of us who do not have shitty jobs get a three-day weekend! For the first time in my life, I work at a place that gives me weekends and holidays off. What a novel concept. At any rate, Memorial Day is all about remembering those died serving our…

SOTW Roundup: 5/11/2014 – 5/17/2014

  This will be the first weekend in a long time where there will be no SOTW podcast. We record nonstop; Christmas, Thanksgiving, our birthdays, Ramadan, etc. However, this week Jay will be in Colorado and I’ll be attending the Royals’ Dress to the Nines Day. For those outside of KC or who don’t (rightfully…

SOTW Roundup: 5/4/2014 – 5/10/2014

Gawker Media is looking for bloggers, and I applied. Why? First of all, what do you think this is? I’ve been blogging and podcasting about current events and trends for over four years now. I might as well get paid for it and have millions of people call me a stupid asshole for stating the…

SOTW Roundup: 4/27/2014 – 5/3/2014

Earlier this week, my grandfather passed away just a month shy of his 93rd birthday. He was among the greatest men of the Greatest Generation. Yet, the word “great” doesn’t do the man justice. He had great stories about the Great Depression, World War II, how he met up with my grandmother before leaving for…

SOTW Roundup: 4/20/2014 – 4/26/2014

Unless you live up north, spring is finally here! The official start of spring was a little over a month ago, but global warming has fucked that all up. Yes, global warming has made our winters harsher and longer, ironically. If you’re one of those people who says “Global warming, huh?” during abnormally cold weather,…

SOTW Roundup: 4/13/2014 – 4/19/2014

Easter is this Sunday and comes shortly after the resurrection of the SOTW Roundup. This may or may not be a coincidence. Like Jesus and the Bible, that’s open to interpretation and no matter what you choose to believe, you are both completely correct and completely wrong. Easter is a waste of a holiday. It…

SOTW Roundup: 4/6/2014 – 4/12/2014

If you listen to Soundtrack of the Week, then you probably listened to the interview with Jimmy Urine of Mindless Self Indulgence. It was the second interview I did with him to promote an upcoming MSI show. He is the best interview I have done because of how animated and open he is. I always…

SOTW Roundup: 3/30/2014 – 4/5/2014 (The Resurrection)

After another hiatus, I am bringing back the SOTW Roundup. This is the second resurrection, so it’s already better than Jesus Christ. I quit doing this because, believe it or not, it can be very time consuming. I didn’t think any of you read this thing, so it wasn’t worth the effort. However, many of…

Remembering Oderus

As I entered the bar, I had this overwhelming sense that everybody was staring at me. This was different than my usual, neurotic self. I wasn’t drunk, but I was on one of the biggest adrenaline highs I’ve ever been on in my life. I wasn’t in the mood to be thinking how other people…

Why The Winter Games Suck

The Winter Olympics are awful. It’s the arena football – no – the WNBA – NO – the Chicago Cubs of the Olympics. Everyone can get behind the Summer Games. You have swimming, running, wrestling and other activities that are required if faced with a life or death altercation with a bear. We know these…

No More Hell To Pay: Stryper Hits Their Stride

I wasn’t going to write about this or even tweet about it, because  I know this subject matter isn’t for anyone other than the smallest niche. Forget music fans, hard rock fans, metal fans or even 1980s hair metal fans. The only people that care about Stryper are Stryper fans. The Christian-metal (yes, you read…