If you listen to Soundtrack of the Week, then you probably listened to the interview with Jimmy Urine of Mindless Self Indulgence. It was the second interview I did with him to promote an upcoming MSI show. He is the best interview I have done because of how animated and open he is. I always run out of time since he’ll take a simple question and spend a few minutes elaborately answering each. Urine’s stage presence is just as entertaining and flamboyant. MSI’s show at The Granada in Lawrence was one the more entertaining concerts I have been to. The band doesn’t just play several songs, say a few things, rinse and repeat. Every song is followed by some crazy rant/banter/act by Jimmy Urine. Even if you don’t enjoy the music, you will almost certainly enjoy the show. It’s a punk rock rave: glow sticks, people dressed up like it’s Halloween, a drunk Gumby getting escorted out. There’s nothing to dislike about an MSI show. And if you’re in Kansas City but don’t like making the drive out to Lawrence for a show, you should check out Bust To Show (also available in Colorado, Texas, Florida, and Chicago). For $20, you hop on a party bus for a roundtrip to a show. That’s about the same you would pay on gas alone, but without the hassle of parking, driving, and worrying about whether or not you had too much to drink. It’s basically like being on a tour bus with a rock band, i.e. damn near anything goes. I was greeted onto the bus by a giant Gumby with a gallon of rum in his hand. The next time MSI is in your town, I highly recommend seeing them, even if that type of music isn’t your cup and tea. I also highly recommend taking advantage of the Bus To Show service. It’s worth the money for shows at venues that are not very close by; an awesome and responsible idea for concertgoers! Enough handing out free plugs and on to THIS WEEK’S ROUNDUP!
When young children aren’t getting raped by rich people, they are out murdering people! After a mob protesting against gas cuts and price increases stoned police and gas company workers trying to collect overdue bills in Pakistan, nine-month old baby Musa Khan was charged with attempted murder. Here’s a funny quote from the Reuters article: “The baby is on bail…” Oh, and here’s another: “Musa cried while his fingerprints were taken…Later, the baby sucked on a bottle of milk and tried to grab journalists’ microphones…” Good god almighty! This monster shows absolutely no remorse even in court! I say give him the death penalty. We have to send a message to all psychopath babies with a need to kill. To society a favor and put some antifreeze in that baby’s bottle.
Have you ever wanted to fuck a Barbie doll? Not like an actual doll, but if Barbie came to life, would you? Are you sure? Regardless of your answer, you have to check out this interview with real life Barbie doll Valeria Lukyanova. Why have beauty ideals changed according to Lukyanova? Race-mixing, of course. Let her explain:
Ethnicities are mixing now, so there’s degeneration, and it didn’t used to be like that. Remember how many beautiful women there were in the 1950s and 1960s, without any surgery? And now, thanks to degeneration, we have this.
As journalist Michael Idov puts it, “I had a simple narrative prepared in my head: A small-town girl grows up obsessed with dolls, etc. Instead, I get a racist space alien.” And let’s not forget this gem by Barbie:
“I’m against feminism. But what would you keep the children for? So they can get you a glass of water when you’re on your deathbed?
“Hot” chicks: Saying stupid shit since forever.
Any asshole can be an alcoholic. It takes true dedication to be a cokehead or heroin addict. Finally, the majority of Americans are onboard with this. Two-Thirds Favor Treatment, Not Jail, for Use of Heroin and Cocaine. Even the majority of Republicans (51 percent) favor treatment rather than prosecution. That’s fucked up! It goes without saying that the vast majority believes that alcohol is more harmful to society and one’s personal health than marijuana. So what is the government going to do to reflect this shift in the majority’s mentality when it comes to drugs? Not a goddamn thing. Reform is not profitable. Welcome to America!
Pop quiz: how does one get their own television show?
A) Spend years crafting the art of acting through workshops and The Actor’s Studio
B) Establish one’s self as a talented writer through education and an impressive body of work
C) Film yourself with a thousand dicks in every orifice
If you picked A or B, you’re an idiot. Duke student/porn star gets her own reality television show. Recently famous for being a Duke student who has sex on film for tuition money, Belle Knox has landed a show called “The Sex Factor.” Well, it’s web-based, but still. It’s only a matter of time before I report on her getting a book deal. Mark it. Like many women who have cum before her,* the best way to become a writer is to be a hot chick and suck a famous cock or the equivalent (see: Elliot Spitzer escort, every woman who banged Tiger Woods, etc.). Feminists will claim this is indicative of a rape culture that values women’s looks over raw talent (other than fucking). An optimist will say you would suck a dick too if it meant landing a six-figure book deal. Hmmmmm…go into massive debt for journalism school to land a job that pays $30k a year or suck a cock, pass “Go” and collect a shit ton of money? #GayForThePay
This week in “No Shit, Scientists,” research shows that Twitter leads to infidelity and divorce. No shit. In fact, I have personally witnessed three marriages unravel before my eyes on a 13” laptop screen. Rumor has it two of those were because of Twitter. The other wasn’t a rumor, I just happen to know. It’s a “chicken or the egg” argument: did the marriage problems occur before or after Twitter? In other words, was Twitter an outlet for a shitty marriage or did Twitter cause what was a great marriage to go south? Spoiler alert: the first one. While we’re on the subject, this guy has claimed to have had sex with over 200 women from Twitter in a year. He may or may not be full of shit, but I will say this (EARMUFFS IF YOU’RE MY GIRLFRIEND): I’ve had sex with four women because of Twitter which is equal to or greater than the number of women I had sex with before joining Twitter. I know two married couples who met on Twitter. I met my girlfriend on Twitter. Twitter is better than Craigslist, OkCupid, Adult Friend Finder and Match.com combined! There will be a new baby boom, and it will be because of Twitter dot com.
Do you hate working your ass off for over 40 hours a week or more, working through the weekend and holidays, trying to find some joy in your two 15-minute breaks and half-hour lunch? Then get the fuck out of America you lazy ass…and move to France! Workers’ unions have forced a new, legally binding agreement that disables employees from having to look at work emails from 6pm to 9am. That’s right. No work once you’re off the clock, including reading emails. Imagine that! Not working when you’re not at work. Oh yeah, let’s not forget the 35-hour workweek that was signed into law back in 1999. Then again, we’re all financially prosperous because of our hard work and ability to (willfully or not) give zero fucks about personal time, relationships, and soaking in the world around us. Oh. Wait.
I am getting sick of tired of people claiming that the GOP hates minorities and women. Give me one example of this actually happening. The GOP Senate blocked the Paycheck Fairness Act. Yeah, ok, but what exactly is this Paycheck Fairness Act? I’m sure there’s more to it than just closing the wage gap between the sexes
The “Paycheck Fairness Act,” introduced by Sen. Barbara Mikulski (D-Md.) and Rep. Rosa DeLauro (D-Conn.) would prohibit companies from retaliating against workers who discuss salary information. The law would also require employers to prove any pay discrepancies among workers are unrelated to gender, as well as both necessary for the business and tied to job performance.
So companies just have to be more transparent about who gets paid what and they can’t fire someone from discussing wages with a coworker? Wait. You can get fired for just talking about wages? Really? AND THIS DIDN’T PASS? Jesus-titty-fucking-Christ, Republicans. You really do love corporations more than pussy.
Not all politicians are pieces of shit. Honestly! Let’s see what bills the great state of Wisconsin just recently passed:
- Assembly Bill 641: makes it easier to prosecute sex crimes and protect the victims; reaction to curb sexual abuse in the military.
- Senate Bill 527: protects owners of shooting ranges from nuisance laws (hey, it’s Wisconsin)
- Senate Bill 565: creates a board specifically to form policies dealing with mental health, so idiots on a general policy board don’t make decisions about shit they know nothing about.
- Assembly Bill 770: creates an emergency assistance loan guarantee program in response to high cost of extreme cold weather.
- Senate Bill 367: the “Anti-Revenge Porn” law (finally!)
And most importantly:
- Assembly Bill 485: exempts small-scale egg producers, those with 150 birds or less, who sell eggs directly to consumers at the farm, at farmers’ markets, and on egg sales routes, from having to hold a food processing plant license for egg collection and packing activities.
For too long has the small-scale egg producers living in a country being oppressed by The Man. NO MORE!
For more news and commentary that supports your local small-scale egg producers, listen to Soundtrack of the Week on www.soundtrackoftheweek.com, iTunes, and on your smartphone via Stitcher Radio (Twitter page at @SOTWpodcast). Also follow Ty on Twitter at @TySOTW. If you don’t, you hate small-scale egg producers, you monster!