I was going to spend this time talking about the need to constantly backup your hard drive since I fried mine by 18-months worth of downloading porn stock projections. Instead, I want to talk about something that reared its ugly head the other day: 9/11 conspiracy theorists. These people do not offend me because they are talking about a terrorist attack on our own soil. Rather, I’m offended by how fucking ignorant these people are. Even worse, they’re on my Facebook page, which means I am associated with these assholes. Here’s a list of logical fallacies used by 9/11 conspiracy theorists: burden of proof, appeal to authority, argument from ignorance, false attribution, moving the goalposts, proof by verbosity, cherry picking, argumentum ad populum, misuse of information, straw man…to name a few. There is also this thing called Occam’s razor. If you don’t know about it, I suggest you Google it and learn. It is very useful the next time a hippy convinces you we never landed on the moon and aliens shot JFK. Conspiracies may have slipped through the cracks 50 years ago and beyond, but with today’s technology and access to information and communication, there’s no way to pull off a heist that would have to involve hundreds (if not thousands of people). That right there is the problem with these claims: they collapse under their own weight. In order to support one claim, they have to make another, and another, and another until it gets to the point where YOU were probably involved somehow. Our government is incapable of doing anything; yet, they can pull this off without a hiccup? Bullshit. Here’s something else that is chockfull of logical fallacies: THIS WEEK’S ROUNDUP!
Need to recap something from last week. I know I said I’m done with the Courtney Stodden talk now that she’s 18…but ONE more thing. Last week, she neither confirmed nor denied interest in porn. I recall mentioning how she has quickly gone from slutty hot to just plain worn out (at 18!). This week, Playboy agrees with me. Quotes from sources include she “doesn’t meet the standards of a Playboy model,” “[Playboy] would NEVER take her…I don’t think anybody really wants to see that anyway,” and “Playboy has not approached Courtney Stodden to pose in the magazine, and has no plans to do so.” Looks like Playboy and myself see eye-to-eye on MANY things. I thought it felt bad to not have done much at the age of 29; think about how it must feel to hit your peak on your 18th birthday! Who am I kidding? I’d probably still hit it.
No one* loves modern rap more than me, despite what my SongPop score is in that category. Looks like modern rap is getting cleaned up: Kanye West gets philosophical about the words “bitch” and “nigga.” From Gawker, here’s his thoughts about the subject inspired by the works of Aristotle:
I usually never tweet questions but I struggle with this so here goes… Is the word BITCH acceptable? To be more specific, is it acceptable for a man to call a woman a bitch even if it’s endearing? Even typing it in question form it’s still feels harsh? Has hip hop conditioned us to accept this word? Do we love this word as much as we love the word NIGGA in an endearing way? correction, Here’s the age old question, would we refer to our mothers as bitches? Would’ we call our fathers niggers or better yet NIGGAS? If nigga is such a positive word, why do we feel so uncomfortable for white people to say it, even with a hall pass? Is it ok to use bitch as long as we put BAD in front of it? Like you a BAD BITCH. Perhaps the words BITCH and NIGGA are now neither positive or negative. They are just potent and it depends on how the are used and by whom? #FREETHOUGHT.
Five hundred years from now, this will be printed in philosophy textbooks across the world. Mark it. It seems like it was just yesterday when Kanye came out with song “Perfect Bitch” about the love of his life, Kim Kardashian. Actually, it was three weeks ago. Seriously. I wrote about it on this roundup. Also, I think Kanye just gave white people free range to use the word “n***er.” Nope. Never mind. Still can’t type it. Shit.
Getting a job with a communications degree is difficult. Not only is the job market brutal no matter what industry you’re getting into, but people with no formal education are getting communications jobs… like Michael Strahan. After a long search to replace Regis Philbin, Strahan was announced as the new host of Live! with Kelly Ripa. Yeah, the former NFL star…with a weird lisp…on a live broadcast show. Nothing makes sense anymore. I understand this is entertainment television rather than journalism, but still. Michael Strahan. At this rate, Tebow will be reporting the evening news. No. NO. NOOOOOOO!
Speaking of journalistic integrity, it looks like not all is lost. Editors at Harvard’s student paper are sticking it to the man. In a letter to the readers, editors of the The Crimson wrote about a standing policy that allows school officials and staff to review their quotes and content before publishing. Essentially, they can revoke anything and everything they said if they want. This year, the editors said, “Fuck that” and forbid reporters to agree to such sanctions for an interview. Why is this a great thing? Because these kids go to HARVARD! These are the people that will be running The New York Times, CBS, Fox News, etc. The older generations at Harvard have apparently let this type of thing slide, and it shows in today’s mainstream media. Nowadays, college students are so used to instant access to information and a no-holds-barred attitude thanks to the Internet. This attitude has no room for The Man saying you can’t put in a quote. Older people have not fully adapted to the changing world of technology and instantaneity. Hell, I’m only 29, and I still have a difficult time adjusting. Here’s a good example: executives at NBC and their coverage of the 2012 Olympics. Once this younger generation takes over, that BS won’t happen again. The music will probably still suck though.
The 11th anniversary of 9/11 was the other day, so there’s no better time to publish an article discussing the odds of another attack. We will never forget, and the media is making damn sure we don’t. According to detailed statistical analysis, there’s a 50/50 chance we’ll get attacked again in the next 10 years. A bunch of smart people got together and came up with a sophisticated algorithm that led to that result. I’m no mathematician (hell, I’m TERRIBLE at math), but I could have told you that. Basically, we may or may not experience a 9/11-sized attack within 10 years…it could happen…it could not…maybe? That’s the study in a nutshell. It took 60 years for another major attack (Pearl Harbor being the last since 9/11) to take place. Why? We live in a different world. Between 1941 and 2001, we didn’t have the technology and instant access to information that we do now. With powerful weapons plentiful and easily accessible and with the Internet allowing easy access to information and communication, terrorism has increased exponentially. Not only that, but the hatred towards the United States has grown as well. When you combine just those factors, I don’t need a statistician to tell me it will take a fraction of the time to get attacked again. There was a time when the idea of the U.S. getting attacked was laughable. Now, it’s a matter of WHEN is it going to happen AGAIN. Regardless, I’d rather live in the present than anytime before this. No Internet porn and the Black Plague? No, thank you.
Imminent terrorist attack didn’t bum you out? Let’s try this: Food Stamps Hit Record High in June 2012. Yes, we’re Public Enemy #1 AND poor. Roughly one in five adults are using food stamps. Oh, but I thought the recession was over??? Bullshit! The increase in food stamps might have something to do with the fact that people cannot find a decent job…trust me, I know a thing or two about that. On the flipside, opponents of these types of social services argue that many of these people do not need the assistance. Jay, my co-host, works at a grocery store and has seen food stamps and the people that use them. To start, Jay works at an upper-scale grocery store near the wealthiest parts of Kansas City. Why are people on food stamps paying higher prices for their food? Second, Jay has seen people paying for food stamps CHECK THEIR IPHONES during checkout. In fact, he told me that story just days before this article came out. Don’t get me wrong, food stamps are completely necessary for many people, especially in today’s struggling economy. However, if you are seeking government assistance, you shouldn’t own a new iPhone and you should be shopping at Aldi or some regional grocer with cheaper prices. This is an issue we should address LATER. Right now is not a good time to slash funding for government assistance. Get the economy back to where people are making decent wages, THEN start regulating. Like Warren G and shit.
Let’s take a trip down Memory Lane to last week’s Roundup. I do remember telling Republicans to shut their mouths in cases of rape and anything similar. Nobody listened. This week, a victim of sexual assault wants an apology from an Arizona judge, Coconino County Superior Court Judge Jacqueline Hatch. So what exactly did Judge Snatch Hatch say? This:
Bad things can happen in bars, Hatch told the victim, adding that other people might be more intoxicated than she was.
“If you wouldn’t have been there that night, none of this would have happened to you,” Hatch said.
Hatch told the victim and the defendant that no one would be happy with the sentence she gave, but that finding an appropriate sentence was her duty.
“I hope you look at what you’ve been through and try to take something positive out of it,” Hatch said to the victim in court. “You learned a lesson about friendship and you learned a lesson about vulnerability.”
Hatch said that the victim was not to blame in the case, but that all women must be vigilant against becoming victims.
“When you blame others, you give up your power to change,” Hatch said that her mother used to say.
OH SHIT! NO SHE DIDN’T! Republicans hate women so much that even Republican women hate women. According to Judge Hatch, any woman who goes out for a few drinks should EXPECT to get sexually harassed; therefore, it’s THEIR fault for putting themselves in that position. Logic. Reasoning. Screw both of those things. I’ve been told that I perpetuate the rape culture because of rape jokes, despite the fact I have publicly denounced all forms of sexual assault on a media platform. People like Todd Akin and Judge Hatch are the real problem here. Then again, WE elected these assholes into positions of power, so we are ALL to blame. Vote.
Drew Peterson was found guilty of murdering his third wife. The former cop shows us all you can murder ONE wife but two is crossing the line. Peterson, a known asshole (shocker…an asshole cop?), will have a lot of fun in prison. Prisoners love former cops. Fact.
This world has become more and more pussified. Every kid gets a trophy, plastic water balls are being banned, and you can’t even tackle a quarterback without being brought up on charges. Casino mogul Steve Wynn is bringing this country back to its roots! Wynn has denied allegations that he threatened to kill Joe Francis. Francis is the founder of Girls Gone Wild. According to Quincy Jones, neighbor of Francis and friend of Wynn, Wynn threatened to hit Francis over the head with a shovel and have him buried in the desert in an email. The 70-year-old casino mogul says he has never sent an email. Sounds legit as MOST 70-year-olds haven’t. Wynn is actually suing Francis for slander, stating that the allegations are threatening his reputation and business. BACK TO OLD SCHOOL CASINO GANGSTER DAYS! Just like in the good ol’ days, Wynn is attacking a Grade A douche. Gangsters have some honor and integrity in who they kill. Unfortunately, modern technology makes it really hard to kill a high-profile dick. Being gangsta isn’t easy nowadays. People are dicking around in casinos all the time because the most that will happen is getting permanently banned. Back in the day, you would lose a hand…if you were LUCKY! This article is Frank Sinatra approved!
What To Look Forward To On Episode 108 of Soundtrack of the Week:
- Nothing this week, because I fried my goddamn computer!
For more news and commentary that Frank Sinatra approved, listen to Soundtrack of the Week on www.soundtrackoftheweek.com, iTunes, and on your smartphone via Stitcher Radio (Twitter page at @SOTWpodcast). Also follow Ty on Twitter at @TySOTW. If you don’t, well…Steve Wynn will make sure you do.