After over two years of desperately seeking a full-time gig in radio, I may have just been given the opportunity I’ve been looking for…and I might decline it. Although I have not been formally offered the job, a radio station in Lansing, Michigan has showed extreme interest. When a company asks for you to research the city and determine whether or not it would be a good move for you, you are basically in. Essentially, it’s a starter gig in a small market, which is exactly what I expected. The downside: a salary range in the low-to-mid 20s. When you consider the two jobs I have right now, that will be an $8,000-$10,000 pay cut. A pay cut like that when you’re making six figures is no big deal. However, a pay cut of close to five figures when you’re barely making five figures already is crippling. Now, let’s factor in the cost of moving, leaving behind everything/everyone I know (never lived outside the Kansas City Metro area), and the volatile nature of the radio industry (i.e. inevitable unemployment), and the job I have always wanted seems to be more of a liability than an opportunity. Some industries are more suitable for graduates of wealthy/well-off families than others, and the radio/journalism industry certainly falls under that category. With starting salaries in the low-to-mid 20s (yes, this is pretty standard), a recent graduate who has to pay all of his or her own bills—i.e. a FUCKING ADULT— can’t possibly accept that pay. This is one of the most difficult decisions I will have to make, and it is purely financial. No one becomes successful by not taking chances. However, try telling that to the majority who eventually fall short. If any of you want to share a shitty studio apartment in Lansing, hit me up. That may make this a bit more feasible. Until then, enjoy THIS WEEK’S ROUNDUP!

 

Remember back in last week’s Roundup when I mentioned that Texas is a close second for Worst State, only behind Florida? Fuck it. It’s a tie now. A Texas Jury Acquits A Man Who Admitted To Killing A Hooker. Thirty-year-old Ezekiel Gilbert admitted to shooting and killing 23-year-old Craigslist escort Lenora Ivie Frago on Christmas Eve in 2009. If you thought Zimmerman killing Trayvon Martin in self-defense was bad, what until you get a load of this logic:

During closing arguments Tuesday, Gilbert’s defense team conceded the shooting did occur but said the intent wasn’t to kill. Gilbert’s actions were justified, they argued, because he was trying to retrieve stolen property: the $150 he paid Frago. It became theft when she refused to have sex with him or give the money back, they said.

In fact, Texas might take first place with this gem: “The Texas law that allows people to use deadly force to recover property during a nighttime theft was put in place for ‘law-abiding’ citizens.” At least the Florida Stand Your Ground law is about protecting your life. This is about protecting $150 from an escort. Why are we not talking about this? For fuck’s sake, Texas! Get your shit together.

¿Ves la televisión? ¿Usted vive en los Estados Unidos? Entonces usted no debería tener problemas para leer esto. Univision is the #1 Television Network in the United States. The July Sweeps numbers are in, and the Spanish-speaking channel is the most watched network on television. If you live in the Worst State (now Texas), this probably gave you a hear attack. Mexicans are not taking your jobs. In fact, they’re staying at home watching TV! However, if you have ever watched Caliente, you kind of get why it’s fun to watch. You need to understand what they are saying just as much as you need to know the plot of a porn. At any rate, better start brushing up on your Spanish skills. THEY’RE TAKING OVER!

If I take this job in Michigan and fail, I’ll have to move back in with my parents. At the age of 30, that would be kind of uncool. Good thing I’m in good company: More American Adults Are Living With Their Parents. Essentially, this article points out that due to the increased cost of rent, more young adults are living at home with their parents to save up for a home. Do they chronicle the life of a struggling journalism grad to highlight the struggle of today’s economy? Nope. Instead, they follow a recent law school grad who found a job as a lawyer to make their point. Essentially, this guy found out it would cost him $25,000 a year to rent a decent apartment, which would make it difficult to save up for a down payment for a home. Newsflash for this douche: LIVE WITHIN YOUR MEANS LIKE AN ADULT! When you do the math, that’s a monthly rent of a little over $2,000 in San Francisco. I’ll admit that rent in San Francisco is astronomical! However, 1) this guy probably makes a decent wage and 2) you’re not going to live like a king right out of college. A commenter on the article website put it best:

I think the current generation of over-coddled babies doesn’t realize that getting that first, dive apartment is part of the fun of growing up. Living on your parents might be more comfortable, but you lose out from missing the personal growth that comes with doing things for yourself.

Unfortunately, I am part of that generation. Fortunately, I’m climbing up the difficult ladder known as LIFE. This recent law grad WITH A JOB IN LAW can easily hack it in the real world. He chooses not to because mom and day gives him an awesome place to stay while he has more expendable cash to my electronics and more luxuries. He probably grew up upper-middle class and is scared shitless of living lower-middle class. THAT’S the real story: Millennials not being able to do nearly well as their parents. Except it and be an adult!

Remember all of that talk about gun law restrictions? LOL! Nope. Not happening. In fact, we are now seeing gun law EXPANSIONS such as this one: More States Are Allowing Guns in Bars. Hmmmmm…mass quantities of booze…a loaded, lethal weapon…nothing could go wrong here! In the same year when gun control advocates finally had some momentum, the complete opposite is happening. When was the last time anyone you know was killed or seriously injured in a shooting where he or she was a 100% innocent bystander? Doesn’t happen that often. Most victims know each other, making random acts of violence not very prevalent. As someone who oversees security for a bank, I can confirm that it is super rare for armed robberies to end in injury, let alone death. You wouldn’t know that by listening to card-carrying NRA members. You would think we have a 50/50 chance of being shot dead at any given moment. Well, if you mix drunks with concealed weapons, they may be right. Self-fulfilling prophecy.

What’s next? I suppose we’ll allow Amanda Bynes to carry a gun! Not anytime soon! Bynes Has Finally Been Held on a Psychiatric Hold. I usually don’t do celebrity tabloid stories like this, BUT this shit is fascinating! In addition to her epic Twitter meltdowns, Bynes very recently started a small fire and doused her dog in gasoline. Fortunately, the dog never burst up in flames. When the hospital staff told her the dog was with her parent, Bynes claimed that her parents would kill the dog and her. Long story short, Bynes was lucid and sane for 10 hours, but went off the fucking deep end for a full hour. The kicker: she tested NEGATIVE for drugs…well, except for marijuana, but that surely does not count. It’s official: Amana Bynes is certifiably bat shit insane! Somewhere in Washington D.C., a politician is finding a way to use this for his anti-marijuana legislation, because politicians.

Let’s get an update on our old friend Virginia Gov. Robert McDonnell. You may recall from a few Roundups ago how Gov. McDonnell received large amounts of money from a really good friend, and by “really good friend” I mean “political donor looking for some legislation changes.” He got a Rolex, his daughter got her wedding paid for, and his wife went on a huge shopping spree. Not cool, right? Good news: he’s sorry. We’re cool now, right? Lol, nope. McDonnell paid back the $120,000 in “loans” and maintains that he didn’t break any laws. Fact: they weren’t “loans” until we found out about them. Fact: technically he didn’t break any laws…he just found loopholes to do the things that our laws try to prevent. Fact: The $120,000 in repaid loans DO NOT INCLUDE the shopping spree, Rolex, are thousands of dollars given for McDonnell’s daughter’s wedding. Fact: McDonnell has yet to address these gifts. Fact: Virginia Governor Robert McDonnell is a greedy, corrupt piece of shit who needs to leave office. #TheMoreYouKnow

Here’s another update that goes as far back as 2010: Halliburton Pleads Guilty to Destroying Evidence After Gulf Spill. The Justice Department announced this week that “Halliburton has agreed to plead guilty to destruction of critical evidence after the Gulf of Mexico oil spill in 2010.” O_O That’s kind of a big deal, right? I mean, surely someone is facing prison time for such a huge display of corruption and deceit, right? LOL, nope. They have to pay the maximum fine of…$200,000. When you set that to inflation of normal people dollars, that’s the equivalent of dropping a penny on the ground and letting it go. Lesson learned. Oh, here’s another interesting fact: ““The Department of Justice has agreed that it will not pursue further criminal prosecution of the company.” Well, isn’t that convenient? Because of this disaster, “Halliburton has suffered enormous damage to its reputation.” This same article also recognizes that “Halliburton found itself under scrutiny over accusations that it performed shoddy, overpriced work for the United States military in Iraq, bribed Nigerian officials to win energy contracts and did business with Iran at time when it faced sanctions.” It’s pretty clear that any “damage to reputation” for Halliburton is equivalent to absolutely jack shit! Then again, it’s pretty helpful when the government is giving YOU a reach around every time you fuck THEM in the ass. Don’t ask how that works.

The Internet—aka The Great Democratizer—is at again! This time, a gym bully is getting the shaft. Internet Gets Man Banned from Gym Chain for Mocking Members on Facebook. Some dude thought it would be funny to take pictures of people at his gym and mock them on Facebook. According to the gym owner, his MOM, his Facebook “friends” and the rest of the Internet, he was the only one who found it funny. Below is a screen grab of what this guy did. It should also be worth noting that his mom also cut him off financially after finding out about this. Remember, folks: you can be a dick on the Internet all you want…just be prepared to pay the consequences!

For more news and commentary to listen to while at the gym, listen to Soundtrack of the Week on www.soundtrackoftheweek.com, iTunes, and on your smartphone via Stitcher Radio (Twitter page at @SOTWpodcast). Also follow Ty on Twitter at @TySOTW. If you don’t, we’ll have you banned from the gym…Reddit has always has a way.