Mad Max: Fury Road…to boredom

Editor’s note: This is a movie review. Movie reviews might have spoilers, because they are movie REVIEWS.

Every year, Soundtrack of the Week does an Academy Award show with TV.com writer Ben Knight. To get you juiced up for the show, Ty reviews each Best Picture nominee to help you decide which movies to not waste your time on and which movies to torrent off the internet instead of paying $40 at the movie theaters. Today’s film review:

Mad Max: Fury Road

Synopsis: In a post-apocalyptic world, Earth has turned into a desert wasteland run by warlords. For all intents and purposes, this movie is one giant desert car chase with five hot chicks and enough explosions to make Michael Bay shake his head. The minimal, simplistic plot came maybe second to the myriad of action scenes. I wrote a similar story when I was 10-years-old.

Review: How in the hell did this get nominated for Best Picture? Was 2015 that much of a slow year for cinema? The names of the villains were the War Boys who drove a War Rig and were nursed to health by slave blood donors called “blood bags.” Everyone gets gas from Gas Town and the protagonists are looking for a water-rich area called the Green Place.

I’m not making this up. Those are the credited names of characters and settings.

Tom Hardy had maybe a total of 20 lines of dialogue throughout the entire movie. Based on the rest of the acting in the movie, this was probably a director move. This movie reminded me of a cheesy ’80s action movie. Kind of like those shitty Mad Max movies in that era. Oh wait! This is a continuation of that series? Shhhhhhhocker.

According to the holder of all knowledge, Wikipedia, this movie was never meant to be. Pre-production began in 1997 and 9/11 – like so many other things – ruined attempts to shoot in 2001 and 2003. Director George Miller had better things to do until around 2011. God tried to prevent this movie from happening, but Satan won.

This movie is good for technical awards, e.g. Best Production Design, Best Costume Design, Best Sound Mixing, etc. However, there is a space movie this year, and the Academy fucking loves giving technical awards to space movies.

If you’re into movies that are all about action with little to no significant plot, “Mad Max: Fury Road” is your film. If you go into this expecting a Best Picture film, don’t bother.

Grade: D+

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