Facebook is a breeding ground for stupidity, ignorance and subtle (sometimes overt) racism and prejudice. Since shaming is a good way to get people to change, let’s call them out on their BS. Facebook Fallacies is a weekly column that debunks all of the stupid shit floating around Satan’s asshole, aka Facebook.
Google deems Natural News full of shit
The story: Google has removed 140,000 Natural News pages in its index. Why? Conspiracy, obviously.
The reality: I am happy to report that this is true. Well, except for the conspiracy part. Natural News, my go-to website if I’m falling short on “Facebook Fallacies” articles, has essentially been blacklisted from Google searches. Good.
In super-paranoid, conspiracy (and predictable) fashion, Natural News founder Mike Adams links Google’s move to threats by left-wing activists to destroy his reputation if he doesn’t denounce InfoWars. Adams also thinks there is some widespread censorship conspiracy happening within the past week.
Adams compares the blacklisting to the recent “censorship” of Milo Yiannopoulos after “damning videos” surfaced. You know, the videos where he suggested that adults should be able to have sex with 13-year-olds.
He also mentions how InfoWars was banned by online advertiser AdRoll.com, costing InfoWars approximately $3 million in revenue. If you click the link, you will find Edge Trader Plus (???) claims this is an attack on free speech. It is not. The First Amendment only protects you from government censorship. Companies and society can censor you all they want. Yay, free market!
Essentially, Natural News is comparing themselves to Breitbart and InfoWars in their defense. Breitbart has published stories about Pizzagate, Obama being a Kenyan-born Muslim, a Muslim mob in Germany that never happened, and paid anti-Trump protesters. Meanwhile, at InfoWars (actual headlines):
- Alex Jones: Is Michelle Obama transgender?
- Lady Gaga to conduct satanic ritual at Super Bowl LI
- NWO opening thousands of portals to ancient demons
- FBI says no one killed at Sandy Hook
- Hillary caught on tape birthing alien life form
Maybe that’s why Google is blacklisting these sites. The above is actual fake news, and Natural News has made claims just as ridiculous as Breitbart and InfoWars. These sites claim they are being attacked by “fake news” mainstream media and liberal agendas of Google and whoever else. They also claim there is a conspiracy to suppress factual information that is damaging to the left’s agenda.
No. They are suppressing blatant bullshit. The First Amendment does not protect your bullshit banter from being censored by companies who are filtering out media outlets who consistently pump out completely unsubstantiated articles every single day.
Side note: Adams also owns Trump.news, “a pro-Trump REAL news website,” according to Adams. Shhhhhhhhocker.
A huge win for “Facebook Fallacies” and the general public.
UPDATE: I reached out to Google and received the following statement from a Google spokesperson:
We don’t comment on individual sites, but if we find that a site violates one or more of our Webmaster Guidelines we may take manual action against it. For webmasters who have questions about their own sites, our Webmaster team provides support through platforms such as the Webmaster Forums. Once a site has remedied the problem, the webmaster can submit the site for reconsideration.
More than likely, Google has blacklisted Natural News because of redirects on its mobile version, something that violates Google’s terms of service and an act for which the site is notorious. Pretty simple explanation, as is the case for most bat-shit crazy conspiracy theories.
We’re totally not fake news. Now read about chemtrails!
The story: In almost the same breath Natural News cries about being blacklisted by Google, they posted this picture about chemtrails. You can’t make this shit up.
The reality: Chemtrails are not real. Goddammit.
For those that have been blissfully ignorant of the chemtrail conspiracy, let me lower your IQ. You know that streak of clouds left by a jet in the sky? Yeah, those are actually chemicals being sprayed on the population by the government, according to Joe Rogan fans everywhere.
In reality, those are contrails. According to the Environmental Protection Agency, “Contrails are line-shaped clouds or ‘condensation trails,’ composed of ice particles, that are visible behind jet aircraft engines, typically at cruise altitudes in the upper atmosphere.”
But that’s just the government covering up the conspiracy. So let’s check in with actual scientists not affiliated with the government. How about the Cooperative Institute for Meteorological Satellite Studies at the University of Wisconsin-Madison:
Contrails form when hot humid air from jet exhaust mixes with environmental air of low vapor pressure and low temperature. The mixing is a result of turbulence generated by the engine exhaust. Cloud formation by a mixing process is similar to the cloud you see when you exhale and “see your breath”.
Check out this cool scientific graph that empirically explains this phenomenon:
And just a day before posting about chemtrails, Natural News cannot fathom why Google has essentially labeled them as fake news.
America first! Conservatives don’t care about anyone else! America first!
The story: Whiny ass libtards want to save the world by feeding starving African children and cutting deals like NAFTA and TPP. Pussies! AMERICA FIRST!
The reality: First of all, wtf??? Second, conservatives are going to be pretty upset when I list all the Republican agendas and policies that directly benefit other countries at our expense. Let’s go!
- Trump’s memorandum to defeat ISIS – President Trump has been very vocal about defeating ISIS, an issue separate from the United States. This would require military action to resolve an issue that mostly deals with “the plight of people in other nations.” With the exception of a few lone (American-born), small attacks, ISIS has not posed a threat within the United States.
- George W. Bush’s radio address from Feb. 1, 2003 asked Congress to “commit $15 billion to fight AIDS overseas for the next five years, beginning with $2 billion in 2004. This plan, coupled with our ongoing efforts, will nearly triple our current annual spending on the global fight against AIDS, malaria and tuberculosis.” From that same address: “Through all our efforts to fight disease and hunger, we can spare people in many nations from untold suffering, and Africa especially. Millions are facing great affliction, but with our help, they will not face it alone. America has a special calling to come to their aid and we will do so with the compassion and generosity that have always defined the United States.”
- Here’s something Bush Sr. did: “In the 1980’s the Israelis launched a secret effort known as Operation Moses to rescue Ethiopian Jews. Once the news of the rescue operation broke, the effort had to be shut down, leaving hundreds of Jews stranded. The VP went directly to the CIA and secretly arranged a rescue mission that saved those Ethiopians. The mission was never made public until George’s campaign. A flyer mailed to Jewish voters was titled “The one candidate who has proven his commitment to the Jewish people.”
- Who said this: “You know the excuses: We can’t afford foreign aid anymore, or we’re wasting money pouring it into these poor countries, or we can’t buy friends—other countries just take the money and dislike us for giving it. Well, all these excuses are just that, excuses—and they’re dead wrong.” That’s right…Ronald Reagan.
Every single president in modern history has been a supporter of foreign aid, whether in the form of military assistance or just basic humanitarian missions such as fighting hunger and disease. Why? Because an “America First” mentality is bad foreign policy. It isolates the United States from the rest of the world, creating more enemies and losing the support of allies.
Helping people in other countries is not a progressive, liberal ideology. It’s just good policy.
Have you come across some “fake news” being shared on your Facebook feed you would like to see publicly annihilated? Share it with Ty at firstname.lastname@example.org.