The Martian: Science porn flick

Editor’s note: This is a movie review. Movie reviews might have spoilers, because they are movie REVIEWS.

Every year, Soundtrack of the Week does an Academy Award show with former TV.com writer Ben Knight. To get you juiced up for the show, Ty reviews each Best Picture nominee to help you decide which movies to not waste your time on and which movies to torrent off the internet instead of paying $40 at the movie theaters. Today’s film review:

THE MARTIAN

Synopsis: An astronaut is stranded on Mars after his team leaves him following an incident that left them believing he was dead. Despite impossible odds, the botanist must survive alone on Mars while NASA and the international science community finds a way to get him back to Earth.

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The acting range of Kristen Wiig varies from emotionless android to emotionless human.

Review: Total science porn for nerds and idiots alike. NASA had a lot of involvement in this film, ensuring that the science presented in the movie would be mostly accurate. Sure, we can find some inconsistencies, errors and highly unlikely scenarios, but relative to other science-based films, there is a lot of education in “The Martian.”

This film addresses many themes the world is being confronted with in the 21st century, including colonizing Mars, politics involved with space programs, and the idea that the international community can unite.

There are a lot of exaggerated/bullshit shenanigans. At the end of the day, it’s still a big-budget Hollywood film directed by Ridley Scott. For example, a scene depicts Times Square at full capacity during the rescue mission. If it’s not News Year’s Eve, this isn’t happening, especially for a space mission that isn’t landing on the moon.

Also, Matt Damon’s character is a botanist that all of a sudden becomes a mathematician, engineer and a Jack of all trades. For a top botanist who is selected for mission that requires an extremely stringent vetting process, Damon’s character sure comes off as an everyday-man, complete with F-bombs, crude humor and a personality fit for an Apatow movie. I’m not saying a top scientist can’t be like Seth Rogen…actually…yes I am. I don’t buy Damon’s character for one second.

Despite the above criticism, “The Martian” is worth watching. Science, action, suspense. It’s all there. Now, allow me to spend the rest of this review asking the following question:

HOW THE F*#@ DID THIS WIN BEST COMEDY AT THE GOLDEN GLOBES?!?!?
HOW THE F*#@ DID THIS WIN BEST COMEDY AT THE GOLDEN GLOBES?!?!?
HOW THE F*#@ DID THIS WIN BEST COMEDY AT THE GOLDEN GLOBES?!?!?
HOW THE F*#@ DID THIS WIN BEST COMEDY AT THE GOLDEN GLOBES?!?!?
HOW THE F*#@ DID THIS WIN BEST COMEDY AT THE GOLDEN GLOBES?!?!?
HOW THE F*#@ DID THIS WIN BEST COMEDY AT THE GOLDEN GLOBES?!?!?
HOW THE F*#@ DID THIS WIN BEST COMEDY AT THE GOLDEN GLOBES?!?!?

Grade: A-

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